You poor, ignorant fools cannot begin to guess how much I enjoy Saint Patrick's Day each year. While we're on the subject, I'm going to go right out on a limb and admit that the binge drinking has a lot to do with it. Yes, I am a rare breed...I am an honest Irishman. I can actually hear some of the people reading this getting mad about the stereotypical drunk Irishman in his funny Irish t-shirt drinking and singing gaelic all night long. For them, I just want to say: I may be in denial, but I've never met an alcoholic in my life.
Each year we get only one holiday where we can be the heroes. No one thinks about we Sons of the Emerald Isle on the other drinking holidays, do they? We can wear our funny Irish t-shirts, dye our hair red, and dance a jig on the top of the bar and no one would say anything to us. We pull those kind of shenanigans on New Year's Eve, and we're likely to spend the night in the slammer.
The only thing that really brings me down during Saint Patrick's Day is the division amongst the Irish people. Some of us want to party and have a great time. Others of us want to condemn and excommunicate anyone seen with a beer and a funny Irish t-shirt.
This infighting has to stop, my dear fellow Irishmen. If we have to lie down our beers while they lie down their rosary just so we can figure out how to get along, then so be it. Here's a brilliant idea: The holier-than-thou clan can leave us alone during Saint Patrick's Day, and we'll promise to come straight to the church for confession the next day. The drinkers win, the bake-sellers win, and God wins.
So lets put on our funny Irish t-shirts, string our necks with green beads, toast our glasses high in the air, and remember the songs our grandfathers sang. The Irish spirit will not be laid to rest by mere bickering. We have much to celebrate. Few have climbed as high from as far below as the Irish people in this great country of ours. That sounds like a great reason to have a drink to me.
Each year we get only one holiday where we can be the heroes. No one thinks about we Sons of the Emerald Isle on the other drinking holidays, do they? We can wear our funny Irish t-shirts, dye our hair red, and dance a jig on the top of the bar and no one would say anything to us. We pull those kind of shenanigans on New Year's Eve, and we're likely to spend the night in the slammer.
The only thing that really brings me down during Saint Patrick's Day is the division amongst the Irish people. Some of us want to party and have a great time. Others of us want to condemn and excommunicate anyone seen with a beer and a funny Irish t-shirt.
This infighting has to stop, my dear fellow Irishmen. If we have to lie down our beers while they lie down their rosary just so we can figure out how to get along, then so be it. Here's a brilliant idea: The holier-than-thou clan can leave us alone during Saint Patrick's Day, and we'll promise to come straight to the church for confession the next day. The drinkers win, the bake-sellers win, and God wins.
So lets put on our funny Irish t-shirts, string our necks with green beads, toast our glasses high in the air, and remember the songs our grandfathers sang. The Irish spirit will not be laid to rest by mere bickering. We have much to celebrate. Few have climbed as high from as far below as the Irish people in this great country of ours. That sounds like a great reason to have a drink to me.
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